leaving

I have never been good at goodbyes but sometimes I do much better than others... This was not one of those times.

As I sit here on the plane I am filled with a mix of emotions. I am excited to share stories and photos with those back home, but am already missing those people with whom those stories and photos happened. I cannot begin to wrap my mind around going back to reality after falling in love with the most perfect place on the face of the planet... Driven mad with the intensity of being wanderlust. I'm not sure if I used that word right, but someone explained it to me as being compelled by an inner desire to travel the world.

My great uncle Jackie told me yesterday that I would be in love with Ireland and that I need to be home for at least a week before deciding I can move here. I replied asking him how he knew I wanted to move here and he said (with a few additional expletives) that everybody wants to move here... But they only know the truly magical, holiday, summer of Ireland and not the grueling monotony of being there for four seasons, year after year with the same people who you either talk to everyday or are in such a roué with that you don't talk to them at all anymore. I'll have to see where life takes me, but I don't think Jackie would be too harsh a critic if I ever did make the move back to this lovely place.

Between sobbing to myself and being completely indecisive about what I want to drink or eat when the cart rolls by, I am finding it to be the longest flight I've ever been on and cannot imagine the end of this journey. Appropriate I think that today is the longest day of the year.

To those I've left behind: I miss you already. I wish I had got to spend more time with some of you. I wish that I was going to be there for peter's first day of big school and grace's dance competition and the building of stephs house and the birth of Jackie's baby... And so many other things but I am confident that I will be in touch with all of you frequently and that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other better.

To those I'm coming home to: I have missed you! I promise!! And talk of moving to Ireland is in no way a reflection on how I feel about living in the USA. I cannot wait to sit around and tell stories of my adventures and shenanigans and show you pictures of the beautiful people and places! And I earnestly hope that all of you someday get to experience this. This completely insane love for a place and its people that I am experiencing.

I have about a small eternity left on this plane flight.

Also, while I've been writing I chose a ginger ale and the salad... I need to become a better decision maker when it comes to eating and drinking. Maybe not better... But quicker!!